Spring's On It's Way!!!

I got the creepiest chocolate from my parents for easter. One side has a lion on it, the other side has a teddy bear on it. I think that's the weirdest thing ever.

School's almost done. I'm happy. AND I'm going to McDonalds on Thursday for supper (thanks to the special gift Lori was given)

It was a good weekend, one of my dreams came true (well half of it), I had a good time singing this Sunday, once I get rid of the nervousness I'll start to really enjoy it.... it'll just take a little bit of practice. Thank you Jesus for helping me hit those high notes.

Stars

So, I just found a candidate for my country song. It might be "Simple Life" by Carolyn Dawn Johnson (no, I don't like the show). My favorite part is the line:
"Lately I've seen too many city lights wanna go somewhere where I can see the stars at night". I love that line!! That's what I hate about living in the city the most, that I can't see stars (well, more than five stars). We'll see, maybe that's the song.

I don't think I had any other revelations today. But it was a good day. Oh, I did realize that I hate being alone by myself. Not because I'm scared, but because I hate having to think about myself, and what's going on in my life. I think I prefer ignorance, which is definitely not a good thing. I might need to work on that.

Prayer

I was reading Cherise's blog, and it reminded me of what Lori and I were talking about yesterday. We were talking about answers to prayers, and just thinking about all of our prayers that have been answered in the last little while. It's amazing to go back and think about all the things that you've prayed for and how they've been answered. It reminds me more of the urgency of prayer, and how important it really is. God really does answer our prayers, and when we remember that it reminds of just how important prayer is. God is amazing.

28 days till classes are done (and that's including days I don't have to go to school!!)

7 x7 = 49!!!!! I'm going to remember that!!!

My computer is very broken. I'm so sad. Oh well, at least it's still of warranty.

I'm so tired of my classes, I can't wait till I'm done, and until I get to sleep, and not think about homework. Oh, that'll be so nice. I only have one more chem lab left, and then I'm done for the rest of my life!!!!!!! Oh the excitement.

I'm really sad, I could have played hockey with the Prov team this weekend. But, Laurel's using my equipment, which is fine, but I really want to play, and I didn't find out that I could until yesterday. I really miss hockey. But I'm also ready for summer. I can't wait to feel the hot sun, and to just sit in it and not think and not move, and just relax. That has to be one of the best feelings ever. Only a little longer.

Looking forward to a relaxing fun weekend...

What To Say

Hmmmm, more computer problems. Grrrr. Oh well, solutions will be getting a visit from me this weekend. It's been a good week so far, really relaxing. I really love living in the same house as the girls I do, thank you Jesus for them. I couldn't have asked for anything better. It's funny how God knows what we need and we don't even have to ask for it, I sometimes forget that God cares enough to take care of the things that we don't even think about. There are so many things that God has done for me that I don't even know about, and may never know about, but without them, I know that things wouldn't be the way that they are if God weren't the major influence in my life. Thank You (I don't think I do that often enough!)

If You Want Me To

Today I heard this song on the radio. Last year it was probably one of my favorite songs, but I hadn't heard it for a really long time, and I forgot how much I love it. It's very true in my life right now, I don't really understand why things are happening like this, but they are for a reason and it'll all work out the way it's supposed to.

"If You Want Me To"
~ by Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

Crying

It's been a long week. I haven't written anything in a week, partly because I haven't known what to say, and partly because I haven't really been home a lot. There's not really words for the way that I feel right now, it's a mix of everything. A week ago my life was a lot different.

Last Saturday, I found out something about myself that I don't think I ever really wanted to know. It's funny how you can notice that you change, and you don't really like it, and you kinda ignore it, hoping that it'll go away. Well, it doesn't. And as much as you hope people don't notice, they do, maybe not everyone, but at least one person does, and it sucks when they tell you something, especially when it's something you've been trying to pretend doesn't exist. Hmmm, well, I had that experience last weekend, but I guess in some ways I'm happy about that. Anyone that reads this probably knows that I really want to change some things about my life, and this is just the next step. To anyone that I've hurt or offended in the last couple months, I'm really sorry, if you haven't noticed anything, well, that just makes me happy, since that means that this hasn't gone as far as it could have. Maybe it's not nearly as far as I think it is, but you know, when family tells you things, it's always harder to take than anyone else, oh, there was much crying.

And, of course, Sunday.... I don't really know what to say, Brittany, Jordan, and Jamie will be missed by tons of people, I don't understand why God chose this to be their time, but I also know that God doesn't create a worthless life, so I know that amazing things came out of their lives and will continue to. I have no words, I didn't when I found out, and I still don't. I don't know if I ever will.

I think I've cried more in the last three weeks than I have in the last six months. Unfortunately for my family, it's mostly been around them, I've almost driven my family to alcohol, just kidding, but that's a funny story, ask me sometime.