I Saw a Little Boy in the Mall Dressed Like a Cow (or Maybe a Dog). I Laughed So Hard.

I'm reading the book that Lori had been reading a few weeks ago, so you'll probably remember some of her blogs about it. It's called "The Story We Find Ourselves In" by Brian D. McLaren. I was reading it today at work (it was really slow), and this point he made really stood out to me.

The guy talking (fictional character) was explaining how had felt called to be a pastor, and had done that for a while but became discouraged, so he went back to school and became a high school science teacher. He made this comment: "But even in that role [the science teacher], he realized that he was no less possessed by his identity, someone whom God had blessed so that he could be a blessing to others." This really impacted me. I don't know how many of you I've told this to, but I feel very called to help others, to make a difference in their lives, to encourage and show love and kindness to those that need it. I've really struggled with this. I don't feel (at this time) that I'm being lead to overseas missions or that type of thing (but I also don't feel like God's trying to tell me to do one job in particular), and I'm having a hard time deciding what to do with that burden. I feel like it's so vague, and sometimes I feel like it's just me thinking God's trying to tell me something and I'm getting it all messed up. But thinking of the idea that in any role we play (or profession we have) we cannot loose the identity that God has given us is very encouraging. I know that people always say "you know, God can use you wherever you are, it doesn't matter what you're doing, you'll make the a good choice", but that really doesn't make me feel any better. The feeling is like the time (years ago) that I played piano in church, and I did such a bad job, I was so embarrassed, and I got the sympathy clap, and I just felt so stupid. You know, the feeling that you screwed up bad, but you have to just make the best of it, because you can't change what just happened. I feel like people just say "oh you made the wrong choice and now you just have to try and suck it up and work with what you have left".

I like the idea that I've been blessed for a reason: to bless others. It doesn't really matter what I do, because I can't loose the calling that God has given me, and it's going to come out in whatever I'm doing. No matter what happens, I've been blessed by God, and that blessing will be used to bless others, it doesn't matter if I'm a teacher, or a singer, or a computer programmer. As the dude in the book said, I can be no less possessed by my identity. It will come out in everything or anything that I'm doing.